What a surreal adventure I had this weekend. And if it wasn't for raw foods, it never would have happened ...
At last it was time for my Raw Food Hero, Dr. Adiel Tel-Oren, to come lecture again in our city. The topic, pH. levels in body systems, is so relevant to so many things that I'd been talking about it to people for weeks, and thought a lot of clients and friends were interested. As his local coordinator, I'd survived several last-minute switches in the organization of this tour, but all in all I felt prepared.
Then, one by one, other supporters mentioned that they would be out of town this weekend. I started to worry a bit; as a new city on his tour, we're still sort of on probation, to see if we can generate enough of an audience to make it worth his while to stop here. And on top of that, I'd offered my own office for his use to see patients, and as the weekend was approaching, suddenly I realized that it was soooo not-spring-cleaned! I mean, this to me is like Joe Blow Catholic getting a visit from The Pope, and I had solidified coconut oil on the floor, a year's worth of dust in the high window tracts, and I just happened to find a CD tower at the thrift shop that I've been needing ... but it's so ugly, do I dare take time to paint it?
Of course I painted it, this is The Pope!! Now, to artfully rearrange all the stuff to accommodate the new, reeking-of-death-toxins spray-painted piece. Hmmm, somehow with less stuff it actually looks MORE cluttered ... but I don't have time to worry about that now, because the bomb just dropped: the friends he'd planned to stay with are also going to be out of town and now I get to host him for the night!
OH MY GOD, I get The Pope, in my dirty, dumpy little dive! I have 24 hours to do a reality-show makeover. But dang it, I don't have the $100,000, nor the crew of round-the-clock carpenters, nor the professional designer that those guys have. I have a vacuum, a dandelion digger, and a sponge. Big breath, in and out. On your mark, get set, GOOOOOO!!
Reader, I pulled it off. Somehow, I managed to get my office, my yard, and my cat-hairy house in a decently presentable shape, as well as buy enough food and whip up a Pie-In-A-Blender, which I didn't even take time to taste. Not only that, but I managed to get myself and all the paperwork to the lecture hall in time to meet-and-greet the throngs. Exactly on time.
But at 6:45, as I feverishly folded brochures, no throngs were yet forthcoming. Okay, after 24 hours of sheer pandemonium in my world, this could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. How could all those people agree that this info would be so relevant to their health and then not show up?!
6:50. Nobody. The next city's coordinator called, needing to speak to Dr. T, and I had to explain that I was sitting alone in an empty room. 6:55, no audience nor lecturer. Well, this is a good exercise in letting things go. I actually can see humor in the situation. A little bit.
6:59, and suddenly everyone shows up at once! Oh, how beautiful each and every health nut was to me, I loved them all! Oh, thank you for forsaking a beautiful spring Friday evening to learn about your body and how to make it work better! And there's our star, who due to such a hectic travel schedule, is usually a bit late anyway. Whew!
We had about ten people, which was not a large crowd, but the lecture was so fascinating (to me, and seemingly to them too) that if even one person changes some part of his/her eating habits to reduce acidifying their systems, it was worth it. Yes, the spray paint, the crookedness of my certificates that got slapped into thrift shop frames, the straining of my back muscles to vacuum corners that I didn't even know could be vacuumed, it was worth it.
Until I got the bright idea to accompany Dr. T to his next stop, in Vancouver, Canada. It was his first time speaking there, and he was speaking on a topic I'd missed, so it suddenly made sense to go help out, since that's what another coordinator did for me on my first run, and her kindness kept me sane and focused. And this new coordinator hadn't even met him before, so it seemed like a good idea at the time.
So after seeing a few clients and finishing the "Pie" (which turned out fine), we set off with plenty of time to allow for crowds at the border.
BORDER ... oh shit, I forgot they require a flippin' birth certificate to cross into Canada now! Oh no. We were almost to the border, no time to turn around and go back. So what happens if you don't have that, or a passport?
Gulp. I guessed we'd find out. I told the doctor that he could just leave me there and continue to the lecture if necessary. It would be achingly frustrating, like a Catholic knowing that The Pope was giving a mass just down the street but she couldn't go because she had a freakin' cold, but I would not let him be late on my account.
Late? You don't know the half of it. Tune in tomorrow to find out what happened ...